Trumped.

This week was the grand reopening of Kluge—now named “Trump”—Winery. As I read articles about this event in great newspapers of the world (such as Washington Post and C-Ville Weekly), I find myself of truly mixed sentiment.

On one hand, I dislike Donald Trump. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of my high school water polo coach (i.e. Satan), or maybe it’s because he embodies the type of American self-promotion that’s cartooned worldwide. Trump Casinos, Trump Golf Course, Trump Towers, Trump Toolbags (isn't that what's written on his mailbox?)...

On the other hand, maybe if I had that much money, I’d put my name on everything too. And along these lines, maybe the brand hype and over-marketing will be good for Virginia wine. After all, to my mind as a novice wine appreciator, there is nowhere in the world with a more charming wine country than Virginia. The gentle rolling hills and the sheer expansiveness of the countryside instill calm and create a setting where wine sipping wine feels as natural as breathing. Unlike more famous wine countries, Southern hospitality is the rule in Virginia tasting rooms, making it easy to ask questions about the wine, the winery, or just request additional pours ("Can I try the Viognier and Gewurztraminer again? I'm having a hard time deciding"). Why is Virginia not a wine-tourist destination like Napa or Sonoma (places far less beautiful and more commercialized for your buck)? Perhaps the reason is that no one has yet drawn attention to it or (ugh) trumpeted the state’s wine tourism. I hate to say it, but the big Trump might just attract the attention that Virginia needs.

I’ll come clean and admit that I’m just insanely jealous of Trump Winery—and even more jealous of his douchy looking son, “Eric” Trump.

Donald (who could afford hundreds of millions) snagged the Kluge estate and winery for a piddly $6.2 million. Now, the 27 year-old ET is in charge. (Where were you on all those seasons of Apprentice, Eric? I have no proof that you know what you're doing!) I wish I were the one who had bought Kluge winery and I wish I were the one running it. I’m sure it would have been hard to raise the cash--and even harder to keep it afloat at first. But that job would be awesome. All I have to say is that Eric Trump better be up to the task. And if they get foreclosed again, I will be prepared.