Aging Gracefully...or Not

Like Leonardo DiCaprio, some wines only get better with time. However, I recently learned that there are others, which do NOT age so gracefully.

Cleaning out my storage closet--a task long overdue--I came upon 4 cases of Chardonnay from a winery that shall remain nameless.

The Nameless wine had been donated to a fundraising event I organized 3 years ago. But donors apparently don't booze at mid-day lectures on micro-finance, so only 6 bottles were consumed that day, and I got to keep the leftovers. Fast forwarding to the present day, I unearthed a bottle of this Nameless wine from under my pink golf clubs and decided to see how it had aged.

After a sip, a gasp, and a shiver, "Ew" is the most technical description I could muster. I couldn't remember how this wine had tasted 3 years ago, so I turned to trusty Snooth.com. The description read: floating aromas of caramelized apple, citrus and Asian pear, a bright palate with flavors of Granny Smith apple, soft citrus zest, and a touch of vanilla. Rather than these delightful flavors, I was now smelling dead grass and stale green pepper, and tasting a correspondingly offensive palate that included straight-up lemon juice. Much like Matthew Perry--this wine had not aged well.

What happened?

According to Wikipedia, aging happens as wine is exposed to oxygen through its cork. While red wines have tannins that act as a preservative and mellow out with this oxygenagtion, most white wines don't. Instead, aging and exposure to oxygen have 2 other effects on white wines:

1. Altered acidity levels: Over time, the acids in wine combine with alcohol molecules to form complex chemical combos. These changes can make the wine taste more acidic and astringent, giving off a sharp piercing effect. Or the wine can lose acidity, leaving it flat. (Technical term for this process: Esterification)


2. Displaced flavors: Oxygen that seeps into wine can also alter the organic compounds in a wine, highlighting flavors that were only mildly discernible when the wine was young. If a wine used to give off aromas of pineapple with a hint of grass, aging can make the pineapple disappear and the grass stand too tall. (Technical term: Hydrolysis of flavor precursors)

In light of this information, Father Time's work became obvious. The piercing taste of the Nameless wine evidenced that Esterification had struck--the wine was now severely acidic. Also, the fact that any notes of apple and Asian pear had fled the scene, suggested that some serious hydrolysis had occurred, making way for flavor precursors of decaying plants.

However, with my lesson in wine aging, I also got a crash course on wine storage techniques. Wikipedia went on that wine is affected by light, humidity and temperature. Direct light can damage the tannins in wine and create other faults. If a storage space isn't humid enough, then corks can dry out and let in too much oxygen, which makes wine age faster. Finally, wines aren't supposed to be kept in temperatures about 77 degrees Fahrenheit or else they can develop cloying or cooked flavors.

On this scoreboard, my storage closet was a wine disaster. The humidity in my apartment is so low that I keep chapsticks in every drawer. Also, since I'm a person who is persistently cold, I generally habitate in temperatures of 80+ degrees. Even though my pink golf clubs have served to shelter the cases of Nameless wine from any light, if these bottles ever stood a chance at graceful aging, the low humidity and high temperatures of Chez Moi cooked those odds right away.

When I began writing this entry, I was wracked with guilt. I had decimated 4 cases of a once perfectly good Chardonnay. That's like turning Britney Spears of 'Toxic' into the train wreck that she is today. And, like Kevin Federline should be, I ashamed of myself. But last night, I saw Britney in a dream and she showed me 3 steps to atonement:

1. I must put a a 'wine storage cooler' on my list for Santa.
2. I must promise to name my first homemade Chardonnay Anonymous; and finally
3. I must donate these 4 cases of Namless wine to my friend's Halloween party, where everyone will be too drunk to notice that they taste disgusting.